A Quiet Dance with Sadness

  • Steph-Marie Szenasi


This article explores dialogues of guilt, sadness, and the repression of those feelings in heterosexual relationships,  and, on a larger scale, in our workplaces, our schools, and our neighbourhoods. The people we want most to confide in  – our partners, our lovers – are often the most difficult to speak with honestly. We fear losing that individual, or relinquishing the social crutches that figuratively keep us alive and moving. The feminine and masculine can often speak to a familiar shared form of sadness, yet there are qualitative differences in the ways they perceive, interpret and react to the sadness that they find challenging or nearly impossible to communicate. Without this tangible and open communication, dissociations can form between the feminine and the masculine, the wife and the husband. In coupledom we can isolate ourselves to an unbearable degree, where we no longer know our other, let alone ourselves. The dissociative tendencies that arise from truths that are too distressing to keep secret yet too terrifying to share are patterns from which we wish to be free.